Many years on from a trauma and I still have those days! Those days where I just want to pull the duvet over my head and shut the world out. Only I push myself now. It is not easy and has taken me 4 years to be in a place to say no F*ck you depression!
Short story , I suffered with anxiety throughout my pregnancy and suffered an awful traumatic birth, thanks to the wonderful hospital I was under, (notice my sarcasm) cough cough! I then developed PND/PTSD and suffered both physically and mentally. I had to learn to walk properly again and had many changes to my body that still affects me now.
It took all the courage I had left, which really wasn’t much, to seek help. Eventually I did and it took many months to open up, to not feel like they too had an agender!
5 years on and I’m ok, but I still have THOSE days! Those days where you want everyone to just be quiet and keep their opinions to themselves. To basically shut the world out. You go from being low, to sad, to mad, to angry all in one day! I have finally found the courage to get up and go. Don’t get me wrong, I go into a quiet and reserved mood, but I get up.
I keep busy.
I have found that if I am not busy then I think. Now many would say this is unhealthy, in the respect that we all need a break. Yes this is true but keeping my mind busy has worked for me. What works for you?
There is nothing I love more than watching box sets at night, when little one is asleep. It takes my mind off the real world and……..
I don’t have to think!
Now there is a sentence for you. If only that was always the case. I certainly over analyse everything and I worry. I never used to but my trauma has changed who I am. It has made me question people and their motives more. But it has made me realise who and what is worth my time.
So now I make sure that when I have free time it is spent with the people who deserve my time and I have learnt to say no! Learning to say no! Is possibly the hardest thing to do! We all like to please others and sometimes even it it means going out of our way. So my message to you,
“Surround yourself with those who want to lift you higher”
Mummy Thomas
