The Things That People Say That Are Really Not Helpful When You Suffer With A Mental Illness.

1) You will get over it.

Instead why not say something like.

“I’m sorry to hear your not doing so well, I may not understand what your going through but if I can help in anyway let me know.”

2) There are people out there who are worse off.

Again not helpful. Just because someone has a mental illness and not a physical illness does not mean it’s any less of an issue. A mental illness can take over your whole life. It’s not a case of waking up one morning and thinking right I will have a good day today and I’ll schedule a bad day tomorrow. It doesn’t work like that. A mental illness should be treated as equally as a physical one.

3) Just smile.

Not helpful!


4) Why do you look so depressed?

Instead why not ask if they are OK? They may be ready to tell you they may not. Just be there to listen when they need to talk.

5) You are a psycho!

Just because people with mental health issues are portrayed to be a psycho or crazy in the movies does not mean that everyone with a mental illness in reality is. It’s an illness.

6) People with depression are just lazy.

Again not true!


7) People with anxiety are just anti social and rude.

Not true, it’s an awful illness. Being so anxious that your mind constantly races and you would rather stay in than ruin your friends day, having an attack or being a party pooper because you want to leave.

8) People with suicidal thoughts are attention seekers.

Wow. Some people suffer so much that they think this is the only way out. The only way to finally have peace from your pain and thoughts. To stop being a burden to your family. When really you are not a burden. You are suffering and you need support. Negative people will not help. Surround yourself with supportive people willing to help.

9) There are so many things to be happy about.

I had several people say this to me when I had my baby. What do you have to be depressed about? You have a baby and a husband. It’s really not helpful. You can have all the money and family in the world, depression can still affect you.

10) You just need to get out or get a hobby.

Why not suggest going to a class together, a coffee or a meal. Be supportive.

I know from the outside looking in at your friend or relative suffering with a mental illness can be hard to understand as you can’t see it. All you can do is be supportive and listen when they need you to. Just knowing your there and willing is enough. It can be a lonely and isolating time in their life. My Poem: Stigma

Mummy Thomas 




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  1. When I have spoken to my bestfriend about certain things, (she has a degree in Psychology) and I stated once that I know that there are people who have it worse than me, she told me something very important and has helped me ever since. She said that my problems are my problems and that they are important to me. It is no good thinking that someone may have it worse, their problems are their’s and are of importance to them.

    Another one I agreed with is the ‘you have no reason to be depressed’ telling someone they have no reason makes them feel worse because they feel guilty – like they have no right to feel depressed. Also the anxious one – when I pick up my daughter from school, I have trouble speaking to other parents because I worry that they judge me for the way I look, or for being younger or anything really… I am far from rude and overly polite and I wish someone would just say hello because it makes the waiting game so much easier.

    This is a wonderful post. I hope more people read it so they can be more helpful to others in the future πŸ™‚ Mental Illness unfortunately is still difficult to talk about.


    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and read my post. I am with you there, with regards to worrying what people are thinking. I hate walking into those situations. I just cannot wait to get out of there. Your friends advice is great. πŸ’š X

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Ugh… heard all of those statements before and they are uttered through ignorance. Am so pleased MH is being spoken about more these days, there are still so many people who have no understanding of it! xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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