Everyone is different on their bad days. I guess people deal with things differently.
When I am having a bad day. I haven’t slept because I’ve laid awake all night worrying, having awful thoughts, sometimes Flashbacks.
I then wake in the morning with hardly any sleep and just feel like a walking zombie. I feel emotionally and physically drained. I just want to lay in my bed and pull the duvet over my head.
I have had moments when I have sat and thought about how I could end it all. How my mind would finally be at peace. It’s like a whirlwind at times. I feel like I get whiplash from my change in emotions some days.
I could go on.
If there is anything I have learnt it’s that support is key. I have sat and gone into my shell because I felt a burden. But I realised it made it worse. Worse because I suffered in silence but also because I shut out the people that loved me.
It wasn’t healthy for me or them.
The antidepressants take the edge off. But I feel counselling has helped me the most. I may need to go back one day.
There are some fantastic supportive communities on twitter and Facebook. PNDandMe, the Pandas foundation, the birthtrauma association and Mentalhealth hour. Some of them host chats throughout the week. If you see your friend/family member suffering why not offer them a Cuppa, help them out. Even helping out with the chores will take some of the load off. If they are happy for you to do so.
You need to do what’s best for you, because if you are not happy with the support and treatment you have. You will never be fully happy with yourself. You deserve to be happy with yourself. Reach out when you are comfortable and ready to. If you would prefer to talk to a friend or family member that’s Ok, you are not a burden.
You are worthy.
You are important and you Matter.
Your voice matters.
Your life matters.
Your feelings matter.
Your story Matters.