First Day Of Nursery: My Anxiety

I wrote about this subject previously, you can find it here, Nervous Mummy This was prior to her starting.

The day has come and I’ve had nothing but sleepless nights. I was worrying about her having enough to drink or eat.

What if they dont provide her with enough?

She is so fussy and will only drink juice, Smoothies or milkshake. She will not drink plain milk or water. The only thing they provide.

They have fruit for snacks, I have tried everything at home to make her eat it, but nope. She will only eat raisins. I have done nothing but worry. Especially with summer around the corner.

What if she gets dehydrated?

I’m exhausted with worrying. I have gone over everything she will need for nursery and made sure we had it ready.

We tried her uniform on prior to her starting to make sure it fitted. Just seeing her in her uniform made me cry, my baby is no longer a baby.

Where have those three years gone?

I started to feel the guilt settling in. I spent three years suffering with my mental health, I still am. I was diagnosed with PTSD and PND, after suffering a traumatic birth. I always look back and think about what I missed out on, what I cannot remember.

Then bam pre-school is here and next year school. I feel like my time of being mum has partially gone now. The fact we are not having anymore children makes me feel worse. I won’t ever experience what it’s like to hold my baby first or feed her first.

I won’t know what it’s like to Change her first nappy or give her, her first bath as I was to unwell, Physically and mentally. I won’t ever get that time back.

The morning came, I did not sleep that night.

My anxiety was through the roof. I felt the fake smile coming on.

She got up and had breakfast.

I got her dressed and she looked ever so cute. We got in the car and off we went. The drive there was awful I felt sick, anxious and just upset. The traffic was bad to. It didn’t help.

There were mums waiting outside and they greeted me and seemed friendly, Phew!

The teacher spotted us and came out to say hello and took her in.

She turned around and shouted ‘bye mummy see you soon, don’t worry I will tell the teacher when I need to go potty’ ha.

I smiled and thought to myself, thank god that went smoothly.

I didn’t know what to do with myself so I went to Costa and had a hot chocolate. I picked her up at midday and the teacher came out and told me she had been fine and settled in well. She was a little bossy but very independent. I thought, yep bossy is about right.

She said she’d been a little boisterous and I thought, oh no. Hopefully that will pass. Except for our previous experience, when she was one at the old nursery, that’s the first time she’s really been with children her age. She’s now three.

I have to take her again tommorow, four days a week. I’m still dreading it. I think if we have a week of her being settled, I’ll be ok.

Fingers crossed.

It’s amazing the things we have to go through as a parent, the anxiety we feel when we approach new situations.

All I can say, from experience is your doing the best you can and as long as they are clothed, fed, watered and loved, what more can we do?

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15 comments

  1. What a huge step for you both to take together. So glad she seemed to enjoy it and I hope the rest of the days go smoothly and she settles in well. X

    Liked by 1 person

    • She is enjoying herself. We have a had a few mornings of crying and not wanting to go. I just feel so anxious dropping her off in the mornings. As everybody knows each other and I always smile and say hi but get the feeling no one wants to speak to the Newby. It’s hard but if she is enjoying it that’s the main thing. X Thank you for asking x

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  2. I know exactly how you felt. I think I wrote something similar on my previous blog about my anxieties associated with my daughter starting nursery. She screamed when I left though and I cried my eyes out too. This went on for a good few weeks too. But, it was the best thing for her. And me! She barely looks back when I drop her off now. She will be starting school in September and I am starting to feel anxious about that already. I know she will be fine, but it won’t stop me worrying. Lol. X #thesatsesh

    Liked by 1 person

    • It just worry after worry sometimes. But we wouldn’t change them. She seems to of settled a bit better so I am hoping that it will be a smooth ride from now on ha. 🤦‍♀️ X

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  3. #thesatsesh J started Nursery 3 days a week when he was 5 and a half months old. Luckily, i have an amazing Nursery on my site at work BUT handing over the little dude who had literally been stuck to me for 14 months was horrendous. *not much work achieved that day and yes i was the first Mum at pick up.

    Liked by 1 person

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