So 2017 was a busy year for me. I moved from our home town to the countryside. There are some lovely views. You really do realise your missing out living in a town. All the lovely scenery and adventures you can go on are right on your doorstep. Not that I have the time to enjoy it. Knowing it’s there is good enough ha!
Changing GP surgeries was a big step for me. I get very anxious meeting new medical staff because of what happened with my birth experience and the treatment I received after. I have lost faith in large parts of the medical profession which is really sad considering I spent seven years working in it.
I was so anxious about attending my first appointment. They seemed nice enough though, so that was helpful.
I have found this whole move so stressful. I felt at times I took two steps back with my mental health. I have a great support network, well my husband has helped.
I told myself that everything will come together and I have to take everyday as it comes. It’s been hard as my anxiety has been through the roof. My mood swings have been bad and I’m happy one minute, low and nearly in tears the next and right through to feeling like I want to swing for someone the next.
We are a month in and I am little more settled. Still struggling with finding things to do and keeping little lady occupied.
I miss my family I think that’s the hardest part. Also not being able to visit my paps grave when I want to. It’s quite lonely as an adult moving somewhere new.
There’s been so much going on in the world and so many disasters it’s a scary time to bring a child up. Wondering what kind of future are they going to have. This is where I struggle with my PTSD. I sometimes lay awake at night and go over every worse possible case scenerio and think what would I do in that situation?
I have lost so much trust and confidence in people since suffering a traumatic birth. I think if it wasn’t their fault, it may be different. But because they were fully to blame I find it hard to trust.
On a brighter note we had our seaside trip to Haven, it was great, she loved it, So much to do. Couldn’t get her off the carosoul though. We got a rescue kitten, he is gorgeous and so tiny.
I started blogging this year too and I love it. Fingers crossed you haven’t got to bored of me yet.
Biggest pet hate this year is people continuously saying you will be pregnant before Christmas, I bet you! Hmm after what happened I don’t think so. (never again)
I was discharged from my counsellor. Mainly because I moved. I think I’m in a place now though that if I really need to talk to someone I will ask for help.
I am looking forward to spend Christmas in our new home though and looking forward to hubby cooking Christmas dinner. I can have a few cheeky glasses of baileys yum!
We had snow to which little lady loved. Checking outside her bedroom every morning to see if it’s still there.