The Toddler Years Begin. Terrible Twos Are A Myth Right?

The dreaded terrible twos.
It can’t be that bad I said.

I was wrong.

I have aged five years and this is what I have learnt;

1.My daughter loves having a tantrum when we are shopping. I use to be mortified. Bright red face, everyone looking as I slowly scoop my child off the floor while trying to exit the building in a form of stealth mode seen only in James Bond. Now I just let her get on with it and almost feel like throwing myself down there right alongside her.

2.I have found the older generation is not a fan of seeing a toddler in a full tantrum. I took her to a baby swimming class and found the older members complaining about the noise. I mean really you couldn’t go any other time throughout the day? Your lives are that busy?
The two hours of baby classes at 9 am was too much for them to bear. The venue changed the day because they had so many complaints, crazy. A pet hate of mine to which I’m sure other parents can relate is sitting in a restaurant and hearing a baby cry or a toddler have a tantrum and hearing someone moan because of it.

Get a life. Eat at home.

3.Putting her into her own bed was tricky. Not because of her but because of me. I remember wanting to build a fort of pillows around her. I was convinced she would fall out and break something.

4.Potty training. That was an eye opener. I can safely say I am not squeamish anymore. I found out my daughter was ready the hard way. I came running downstairs from going to the bathroom (as we know, we get all of 30 seconds for that!) She had taken her nappy off and managed to smear poo everywhere. It was like a horror movie. The windows, doors, walls and carpets. I didn’t know what to do first. So if you find yourself in this situation, the following worked for me;

– Bath

– Clothes peg for your nose or if you can go without you’re braver than me

– Marigolds and Dettol

– Maybe a little air freshener if you have some, always handy.

– I took one look at her clothes and opened the bin

5.My daughter is at the stage where she wants to pick her own meals. Pizza then chocolate lolly for dessert. I have tried everything to get her to eat veg. I tried mixing it in her food; she just dissects it and tells me how disgusting it is.

She’s two going on 12.

My husband doesn’t help, coming home, super dad’s here! I’ve been telling her all day, ‘no chocolate today’ and he waltzes in chocolate in hand. Safe to say she’s a daddy’s girl.

6.I remember going out with a friend one evening for food, I was a nervous wreck, my first night out as I’d finally managed to pluck up the courage to leave her. He sent pictures to re assure me. It was a picture of him, her and the cat lying on the sofa playing the PlayStation. I really didn’t know who the bigger kid was at this point. So if you’re nervous, mums get your partner to send the odd picture or two. It can be reassuring.

7.Learning the hard way. I went to put the rubbish out. I could still see her sat on the floor watching Frozen. She suddenly got up and banged on the patio door ‘Mummy!’ Aw I thought how cute. Well that soon changed. She picked up the key and placed it in the lock and locked the door.

At this point my face dropped and I panicked. What do I do?

She stood laughing at me.

‘Open the door’ I said.

This went on for a very long time.

Me, Being Mummy

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